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I'm a girl who's almost done her teenage years....and yet..she still finds herself filled with imperfections which she hates.

Everyday it feels as though nothing I do is ever good enough but that is why I'm sitting here writing this.

For years people have told me that perfection cannot be achieved..but yet..I still desire it. I have bitten into the forbidden fruit and want more. But in this case..the fruit is not fruit at all..it, infact, is the complete opposite.

I know that I will never be PERFECT..I will always want more. As humans that is what we all want. We all want that grade to be a little bit higher, that colours to be a little bit brighter and the weight to be a little lot lower...no matter how high, bright or low it may be.

I have a lot of issues with myself..most of which I keep hidden from anyone that knows me in real life. It scares me to open up to people who I know in real life..I feel far too vulnerable and unprotected. It's much easier to pretend you are happy, to smile and fake it as they say. I hate my body, I hate the way that I think and I hate the fact that I have no one to confide in.

Sure, I have a great group of friends who all love me for who I am. But how can they really love me for who I am if I can't even love myself for that? I have about as strong as a family as one can get now-a-days. Parents who are still married after 30+ years who love me dearly despite my obvious and even my not so obvious flaws..and a younger brother who annoys me more times than not..but would still help me if I needed it. I go to a good university and get okay marks in subjects that I love..yet it's never enough. I strive to work harder and yet I cannot do it alone. For years I've battled..I've won some and lost more. So I guess that is the purpose of this journal..I need support..even if it is only from myself. I will always be my biggest critic and if I have a place to write my critiques of my imperfections then maybe I will be able to change some of them for the better.


So if you've managed to read through all of that you now have a decision to make.

Are still brave enough to be on my friends list?

If yes..You know what to do and I'll most likely add you back..I love having friends online and long for people who understand me.

If no..then click the little 'x' at the top of your screen and not a single soul will ever know the difference.